In a world that has turned gender roles upon its ears, it’s sometimes difficult to hang on to our feminine identity. Popular culture tells us that we need to be heavily made-up and wear seductive clothing to be considered beautiful, while the Bible tells us beauty comes from within. What’s a girl to do?
Today, I want to remind you—remind us—what the Bible says about feminine identity. And then, we’re going to look at Queen Esther for some specific tips.
What is Feminine Identity?
Let us first define what it means to be feminine. In the beginning, God created male and female (Genesis 1:27). Each of them was given a specific role which should not be filled by the other. It’s not that it was impossible for them to be filled by either gender (except as it relates to procreation and child-bearing)–it was that God designed it a particular way.
After God created Adam, He placed him in the garden to tend it (Genesis 2:15). It’s not because there was a whole lot of work to do in the garden, it was because God wanted to cement the man’s primary identity as a provider.
When God created woman, He took her from man which was symbolic in itself. The woman was intimately connected to the man while remaining separate from him. And then God called the woman an ezer meaning helpmeet–not a helper who was to be stuck in the kitchen doing chores, but a valuable part of man’s life (Genesis 2:18,22).
There is a difference between masculinity and femininity–and it’s not just physical.
Masculinity and Femininity in Society
We are erasing gender roles by telling girls they should have been born boys and vice versa. While I am all for women crossing into fields that are dominantly male and vice versa, I think we do ourselves a disfavor when we try to transform ourselves into the other gender. Our female identity needs to be enjoyed and celebrated.
What the Bible Teaches About Feminine Identity
These are just a few verses from the Bible about female identity. These verses show that women were thought of and loved by God.
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Genesis 2:18 ESV).
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30 ESV).
An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4 ESV).
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22 ESV).
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them (Colossians 3:19 ESV).
God thought we had a valuable and necessary place on earth and so He created us. Wives are to be loved and taken care of by their husbands. A woman who serves God is a credit to her husband. God wants us to celebrate our feminine identity. This does not we should act in an effeminate manner–it means that we should learn to appreciate and fill the roles for which He created us.
What We Can Learn from Esther About Female Identity
As a teenager, I was drawn to the books of Ruth and Esther. I found them a refreshing change from the male-dominated story of the Bible. I didn’t understand until much later that God loves and appreciates women as much as He loves and appreciates men. The book of Esther teaches us that women can be influential people who were created for a purpose.
Queen Esther was in a unique position to use her influence with King Xerxes to save her people. As an eighties child, I grew up with the mindset that I had to prove to be just as good as boys because there’s something intrinsically inferior about women. Esther reminds us that we’re all valuable. She reminds us that in our role as ezer we can support the men in our family and be a strong source of help.
Esther reminds us that we all have fears. But instead of allowing our fears to paralyze us, we can channel our fears to get the job done. I’m sure she was scared at the thought of facing Xerxes when he had not called her. She knew the punishment was death unless she somehow won his favor.
But she didn’t let that stop her. She fasted–and I believe prayed–and faced her giants. My friend, we can face our giants too. We don’t have to allow the enemy to cause us to cower when God has not given us a spirit of fear. Let us learn from Esther, that we can be strong women who serve God and her fellow man. Esther learned to embrace her feminine identity and so can we.
My new Bible study, Royal: Life Lessons from the Book of Esther is written for teenage girls. This Esther Bible study book is perfect for personal or group study. It is an in-depth exploration of the lessons and morals in the book of Esther and covers topics such as the importance of respect, how to be a good friend, and tips for having a relationship with God. Royal: Life Lessons from the Book of Esther will be published on September 5, 2019, and is currently available for preorder on Amazon.
